Before I married, I was a branch manager at CIBC, responsible for serving the company’s most valued customers and helping them to solve their investment and borrowing needs. At that time, many new immigrants from Taiwan and Hong Kong remitted vast amounts of money, promoting the branch’s performance comes out on top. As a result, many Chinese customers were scrambling to get special financial management services from our bank. The highest point of my capability was that I could speak multiple languages, making communications easy while serving customers. Soon I became famous and envious of others, winning appreciation from the boss at work. There is a Chinese saying: “一人之下，萬人之上,” meaning more superior to millions of people yet inferior to only one. That was how I assumed about myself.
I married a year later and had two sons and one daughter within four years. I tried to ask my in-laws to help take care of the children and hire a housekeeping assistant. But my children were very active, so even the longest-serving only managed to stay for seven months.
Although my boss urged me to return to work, my children left with no childcare arrangement.
So I decided not to go to this high-paying job and stay at home to take care of my children.
My decision has two factors. First, when I was working at the bank, my colleagues often reminded me that from birth to six years old, children need their mothers the most. So if you miss this period to be with them, you will regret it and never be able to make up for it.
Once I went for a pick-up at the daycare center. I found other children were looking at me intensely. They seemed pleading: “Please take me; I want to go home too!” There and then, I decided to take care of my children on my own. That is how I became a stay-at-home mom for ten years.
It was not an easy decision for me to make. Finally, I chose to sacrifice for my children. Yet I struggled with bitterness, helplessness, and tears flowed in my heart. My clothes are sparkly and elegant at work, but my clothes are simple at home. When I went to work, I sat in my office; but the entire house was my office. A mother who stays at home commonly has no economic value, but a famous banker in society is respected and considered an asset.
I hear some gossip back from time to time: “It is such a waste for an MBA to stay home and take care of her kids!” Although I was under a lot of pressure psychologically, I did not regret this decision.
Seeing my children growing up, each cry and smile, whether they were bedridden or jumping; their little fights, sleeping sweetly in my arms, all these moments became my driving force to stay home with them. However, what seemed to be the best was that I didn’t have to wake them up in the morning or take them to a childcare center in the heavy snowy weather.
I enjoyed participating in extracurricular activities at my children’s school. I followed their teachers and classmates to go fishing, ice skating, visit the apple farm, and go to the Maple Syrup Festival. Besides being excited, I felt very proud and happy to see my children, accompanied by their mother. I seemed to put all the fame and fortune behind my back and enjoy the pleasure of being a mother!
Ten years had past, time flew like a dream. I have lost most resources of income. However, I have become more appreciative of my husband and his support of the family. I am proud of his efforts, achievements, and family needs.
As written in the bible: “…and the head of the woman is man…” (1 Corinthians 11:3); “For the husband is the head of the wife…” (Ephesians 5:23).
There is also a Chinese culture in saying: “就是男處外，女處內,” meaning Men work and bring home the money. Women stay in the care of the household matter.
I used to admire my profound education. I thought the equality between men and women and the rising of women’s rights was a trend. Women no longer would be discriminated against or mistreated but instead equally with men.
Jesus Christ, our God, is willing to give up the glory and authority in heaven to come to the world to seek for us, love, and save us from perishing! Who am I? How would I meet up with the Creator of heaven and earth?
Thanks to God, for He, set an excellent example to teach us to be meek and humble and do God”s will.
Today I have a wholesome family, a loving relationship with my husband, and a safe home for our children to grow steadily and with a sense of security.
Thank you for God’s guidance and grace. It’s all His glory and mercy.