——Yes, because it is the mark of a great and clement soul to pardon an offence
Wyatt Graham
Christians sometimes debate whether we can forgive someone who does not ask for forgiveness. Many reasonably infer that if God forgives only those who seek his mercy, why would we hold to a different standard?
Others stress God’s forbearance, namely, his mercy in passing over sins because of the cross. They point out that love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8).
The two sides often talk past each other. I believe the reason lies in a loss of moral categories. As Alasdair MacIntyre observed, we still use the language of classical morality, but we have forgotten the structure of thought that gave it meaning. This lack shows up in our debates about forgiveness. And it may be freshly on our minds because of Erika Kirk, who, in a moment of merciful clemency, forgave her husband’s murderer.
At her husband’s memorial, Erika said:
“On the cross, our Savior said: ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ That man—that young man—I forgive him. I forgive him because it’s what Christ did. And it’s what Charlie would do. The answer to hate is not hate. The answer—we know from the gospel—is love. Always love. Love for our enemies. Love for those who persecute us.”
No Christian can read these words without awe. We should trust that gut instinct. But then we need to reason biblically to confirm our instincts or to find out where they may be awry. Otherwise, we risk letting a damaged moral compass steer us.
I believe Erika’s words are good and right. But to see clearly why, we need the older moral vocabulary of pardon, clemency, and mercy, along with the political categories of a public and private person.
What Did Erika Do by Forgiving the Murderer?
If Erika were a public official, like a judge, we would have to call her act either unjust or else a rare act of excessive mercy, one that would be hard to justify. A police officer must arrest a shooter, and a judge must punish him. A judge may, however, show clemency by softening a sentence, or a judge may err by punishing harshly beyond justice. But these are public acts tied to a specific office.
Erika is a private person. Her husband’s murderer has wronged her deeply. By forgiving him, she did not pardon him before a court or justify him before God. What she did was exercise clemency: she set aside hatred and the desire for revenge, freeing herself from being bound to his evil.
The word clemency means not giving someone what they deserve, out of a mildness of mind. Or as Seneca puts it, “the mind’s inclination toward mildness in exacting punishment” (On Clemency, 2.3.1). It is a species of mercy and is partially tied to God’s forbearance in passing over sins.
Love Covers a Multitude of Sins
Love covers a multitude of sins. Consider these verses:
- Proverbs 10:12: “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”
- 1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
- Proverbs 17:9: “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”
Each passage speaks to private persons. Each urges us to judge sins mildly, to cover them with love rather than to nurse resentment. In our moral tradition, this kind of merciful covering was called clemency.
How Did Erika Pardon an Offence?
It is clear that Erika did not forgive her husband’s murderer in a judicial sense, nor did she justify him before God. She forgave as a private person. In that sense, she pardoned an offence against herself by an act of clemency. She did not seek vengeance; she allowed love to cover sin.
And why should she not?
The alternative would be to cling to a thirst for violence, or to let her peace depend on whether the murderer ever sought her forgiveness. That would bind her to his evil and to a murderer’s whim. Being bound to him, she would never be free.
Instead, she did what every Christian can do in such moments. She let love cover sin. She did not deny the need for civic justice. She did not presume to take God’s place as the justifier of sinners. She refused to be bound to a murderer’s choice and allowed clemency to guide her.
Can I Forgive Someone If They Don’t Ask for Forgiveness?
Yes. Because it is the mark of a great and clement soul to pardon an offence.
It may be that forgiveness, in its fullest sense, requires reconciliation. I am not convinced. But even if it does, we still have more categories than a simple exchange of repentance for forgiveness. Erika’s act shows us that forgiveness can also take the form of personal clemency, a mercy that covers sin without excusing it.
I am convinced that there are more categories than:
(a) Forgiveness
(b) bought by an exchange of repentance
(c) that results in reconciliation.
And I would ask that readers consider whether or not words like mercy, love, clemency, and pardon, along with the distinction of public and private persons, might help them to see what their gut already told them: what Erika did was beautiful.
Original article from The Gospel Coalition Canada, web link: ca.thegospelcoalition.org/columns/detrinitate/can-i-forgive-someone-if-they-dont-ask-for-forgiveness/