By Nikki Chen
I am 17 years old, I come from Guangzhou, China. I am going to university in September. I got baptized Sunday, March 28,2018 to become a Christian.
My parents grew up in the countryside, they did not have a high school education. So, they had to find a job at a young age in GuangZhou. My dad and mom started with nothing, but they worked very hard to achieve their success in business so that we can immigrate to Canada. Recalling a couple of years from now, I desired parental love from being a child to teenager, since my parents were hard-working in their business, I felt little love from them. My mom has bad temper as always, which made my heart filled with hatred and anger. I would hate my mom’s bad temper as it has influenced me deeply; I would hate talking to my dad; I would hide in the room and avoid to see my parents; I would hide in my bedroom to avoid seeing my parents. I would indulge my lust to do what I want. When I was carried away by anger, I have sinned. I have smashed things at home, I have acted against my mother, I have pulled her hair, and so on.
Before I have faith in God, I blamed my mom’s bad temper as it has influenced me, and I spent many days in hatred. I think me and my dad have barriers because of the lack of communication. In my memories, I have never had a hug from my dad. My relationship with my elder sister was very bad, but after believing in the Lord, I began to really care about her because I knew she lacked parental love as I did. I treated my family with the worst attitude, but it didn’t feel good at all. Before I have faith, I was still an ignorant, rebellious, and disoriented child. Whenever I have struggles I would keep them to myself. Even though I would talk to my friends about my troubles, I know deep down in my heart, my sorrow still remains. I was facing the pressure from school assignments, the loneliness of being an outsider with no friends, and the constant fighting at home. I had decided to runaway from home late at late night. I thought I could escape what I was facing. I turned off my phone so that no one could find me.
However, my mother called the police to search for me with my friends from church. After I came back home, I was very touched. I thought my mother had little love for me. I didn’t expect her to search for me so desperately after I was missing. She told me that she couldn’t live without me. She didn’t sleep well because she had cried at night. I deeply felt her motherly love for the first time. Even so, I know that not being good at expressing love does not mean having no love. I know my parents’ love is reflected in everyday life, such as making a delicious meal, washing clothes, stacking clothes, and preparing lunch boxes.
How did I come into contact with the gospel? It was my friend who invited me to join the fellowship. He told me that it has delicious food so I came. Later, I was attracted by new things in church, such as singing poetry, praying before meals, and reading the Bible. Thus, I came to the church to learn more about the Lord. Once, I had prayed with Pastor Han. We prayed to God for my friendship. Before all that, I didn’t come to church often. Later, I got together with my friend again because my mom made me thank my friend to find me when I was missing. After this incident, I once again felt that God listened to my prayers and touched my heart to believe in him. Moreover, when I listened to Pastor Yu’s preachings last year at church, we prayed together for I admit that I am a sinner and cannot save myself. I ask the Lord Jesus to forgive my sins and as my Savior and Lord of life. I am determined to follow the Lord and be His disciple of the Lord Jesus. I would spread the gospel to my parents, brothers, sisters, and friends to let them know the truth in the Bible. Through prayers, my heart was comforted and warmed. The wonderful feelings in my heart cannot be described. It feels good.
I learned to appreciate my family after believing in Jesus Christ. After behaving as God pleases, I felt the happiest ever. I’m also the only Christian in my family. I learned to love others and comfort my mom. And let us be moving one another at all times to love and good works; (Hebrews 10:24) My relationship with my elder sister was very bad, but after believing in the Lord, I began to really care about her. I would help and protect her when she needs me. I knew she lacked parental love as I did. My relationship with my elder sister is obviously better than before. I told her that I believed in Jesus Christ. In our entire family, I am the only Christian. I want to convey the gospel of salvation to those around me. I know that my mother has never been happy. She started to go to church. My mother went to join a reading gospel group on Wednesday, but she did not persist. I hope the people around me can be saved by the Gospel of God and thus be free from suffering pain. Therefore, I will prove it with my actions.
When I began to let go of my hatred, I treated my mother with a different attitude. Even though I had some unpleasant memories with my mother when I was a child, I began to think differently. Why did my mother lose temper with me? Is it because of the stress she was facing? Is it because my grandmother treated my mom with the same bad attitude. Thank God for opening my eyes, let the hatred in my heart be released, and taught me to love others just as God loves me. My mother saw my change. She praised me and said that I had a big change. She thought that I was different from the past. She felt that I became obedient. I used to do zero housework at home. Now, when my mother asks me for help, my first reaction is I would do it.
Thank God, because of my faith, my life is slowly changing. For example, I want to be more enthusiastic in life, I want to treat my friends sincerely, and praise God in the temple of God. My deskmate also believes in Jesus at school. Once, we were assigned in a group to do the assignments. I became quiet because she offended me with her words. She also noticed that I was in a bad mood. However, I do not want to affect her with my bad mood, so I told her that we should pray before we work together. Later, we prayed to the Lord to help us work together successfully and pleasantly. In the end, we worked very well finishing the assignment. Our friendship has also become more stable because of our faith. Because by grace you have salvation through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is given by god: Not by works, so that no man may take glory to himself. (Ephesians 2:8-9) Thank God for letting me be saved by believing in you. Whenever I feel alone and helpless, I just need to know that the Lord is with me.
Today is the most memorable day in my life. I believe that from today I will be a true disciple of the true Lord Jesus Christ. I realized how difficult it was to finally decide and believe that Jesus is my Savior and follow him forever. I would like to give my special thanks to Pastor Han for encouraging me to baptize, and to Ann for giving me a warm hug in times of frustration,. I also thank Pastor Yu for giving us a gospel message, and for the unconditional love that I receive from my parents. Today in this temple of God, I am very happy to born again. To those who are exploring about Christian faith, a person like me can receive the grace from God, so you can receive it too! Finally, I would like to give thanks to brothers and sisters, and to our Heavenly Father, Amen!